Thank you all : some heart, some theology

Hi all,

I've updated, edited and redrafted some of this  post, which I wrote in haste last night...

Me and my housemates  & other friends are just having a summer BBQ , with Kosher Sausages and Beef burgers.  I just wanted to say on behalf of me and my girlfriend Sarah, THANK YOU for being so lovely and kind to us as we have admitted our feeling for each other & made our relationship public; yes it is an intimate and close one and that is all we want to say about that. Neither of us can tell you what it means to have this support and this love. I've been, for a couple of years,  in a deep black hole for a while, a depressive, suicidal, horrible place where I've struggled with my religion, observance, belief  & sexuality: I've flipped and I've flopped, I've been uncertain, inconsistent, unsure, I've tried to tow the party line & above all I've been afraid of my true feelings and needs.

Should I be a Jew? Or a Christian ? Does Hashem love me? Am I allowed to express my love? Have a companion? A soulmate?

And the answer is, after 10 years of difficulty,  yes ! yes and yes! I am a Jew, proud of my heritage, loving every Jew, every Synagogue, loving our homeland of Israel with a passion that I cannot express. Loving & loyal, but not necessarily, understanding of our G-d and  the Torah. But yet,  I am LOVED by Hashem; as child of the G-d of   Abraham Isaac, Jacob, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah, as child of Israel, made in his image, created by him.

I've known great joy, but great sadness and a deep, deep, longing to be loved by someone and to love in return. But, bit, by bit I've been able to understand these issues, thank Hashem. But thanks to YOU guys, my FAMILY AND MY FRIENDS, who have always been there for me, who have loved me and supported me through all the pain and all the difficulties. 

I love you all lots,  THANK YOU !! XXXXXXX

I also know that not everyone is happy at present, that people do struggle, strive and don't get everything about religion and sexuality, or just life :  the pain, the love, the tears, the difficulties, the cultural pressures & how one has to deal with fundamentalist attitudes as the bee all and end all of Orthodoxy. Well, we are here for you .As is G-d. G-d loves all of humanity. You don't need to be a Jew to know him and to love him or to walk in his ways. You don't need to dress up or wear a black hat to worship him, you just need to hear his voice. He LOVES you and all of humanity. 

This is my personal view and passions. But how does this stack up against Judaism and current Rabbinical thought?

Red Dwarf ...

Hey Dudes and Dudesses ,

Classic British Sci- Fi comedy -

Which I was banned from watching when I was part of that wacky cult- because it was 'against Jesus' - which almost destroyed my life. 

-So now I'm free from all that crap & I'm now moved from my bro's house to my sister's pad , who's gone out for a smooch with her girlfriend, I'll watch it some more now!

Its cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere,
I'm all alone, more or less.
Let me fly, far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun, In the sun, sun, sun.

I want to lie, shipwrecked and comotoase,
Drinking fresh, mango juice,
Goldfish shoals, nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun, In the sun, sun, sun,
Fun, fun, fun, In the sun, sun, sun.

I'll pack my bags and head into hyperspace
Where I'll succeed at time-warp speed
Spend my days in ultraviolet rays
Fun, fun, fun, In the sun, sun, sun.

We'll lock on course straight through the universe
You and me and the galaxy
Reach the stage where hyper-drive's engaged
Fun, fun, fun, In the sun, sun, sun,
Fun, fun, fun, In the sun, sun, sun.

Me and You

Me and you singing on the train,
Me and you listening to the rain,
Me and you we are the same
Me and you have all the fame
We need; indeed,
You and me are we.

Me and you singing in the park
Me and you light candles in the dark
Me and you we are the spark
We'll watch that light just make an arc
To say someday
There will be a better way.

Me and you were waiting for the dawn
Me and you and all the places we've gone
Me and you, sitting on the lawn
Me and you just singing a song;
A rhyme to shine
And to pass the time.

Me and you singing to all
Me and you were not so small
Me and you can stand up tall
Me and you just having a ball
Happy to be
You.....and Me

Barry Louis Polisar

Quote of the Day

Who says Orthodox Jews are unable to talk about sex or sexuality openly ?

“The moment you see orgasm as a transcendent experience and one that can lead to mystical union, it’s truly transformative. We don’t know how to deal with orgasm in American sexuality. For us, it’s just something that proves that the sexual encounter is over. The whole experience of sex is a means to an end. It leads to bad sex and short sex.”

– Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, author of the new book “Kosher Lust”