Thursday, 8 May 2014

An ex British Prime Minister can 'do' global peacemaking...

OK, so if I were a soon to be ex-Prime Minister of Britain (as David Cameron is likely to be after 2015), I would want a nice cushy, well paid job, which would give me an opportunity to use the many talents I used in the service of the British people, to the wider good of all humanity. Therefore I'd become a roving, UN mandated global peace ambassador. The first conflicts I'd magisterially end are two conflicts in which various countries have been locked in wars for over 70 years:  

The first would be a peace treaty between Costa Rica and Germany. That's right. Costa Rica declared war on Germany in 1918, but she was NEVER invited to the Paris peace conference  in 1919 and has never signed a treaty with Germany officially ending the war. I shall therefore exert my great influence and diplomatic skill in attempting to bring this bitter and  near century long conflict to an end.  That I will have to stay over for a while in Costa Rica, sipping mango juice and cocktails in some exclusive palm and sandy beach resort, with a fine Cuban, is a small price to pay for peace. And that I shall doubtless have to spend time in Germany, especially during their Octoker fest and get served  huge amounts of pints, by Lederhosen clad girls  is just I, doing my bit for world peace. 

The second peace initiative is between Italy and Japan. Now Italy declared war on the Empire of Japan on 14th July 1945. But Italy never attended (or was not invited) to the San Francisco peace treaty. So again and alas technically Italy and Japan are still at war with each other. So time for another jet set to Italy and Japan, with some Chianti  & Saki  needed in large amounts, to see if I can make people see common sense and make peace. 

So you see, there are all sorts of ways an ex-British Prime Minister could be useful on the world wide diplomatic stage.  Now I hear some of you saying, well do something serious, like the middle east, Dave. As for the middle east, well that position has already been taken. And you can see the productivity there, by the bucket load, can't you Mr Blair? 


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