Thursday, 15 May 2014

No fear only Shalom

Hi All,

I had to do write this.  it has been eating me up for a long, long time, but having read about others coming out that they were gay & in a relationship, I'm taking the plunge. I've spoken to my immediate friends and family. I hope people will be as understanding as they have been to me this morning 
( : 

My face is tears like rain
because being able to tell you
something special
has taken away my pain
my feeling of inadequacy, 
my fear, my feelings, 
my potential hypocrisy 
I feel no fear, only shalom

I've got a girl friend
Well more than just a friend
a companion, a soul mate, a lover
I'm no longer having to pretend
I can't help my feelings of whom I love
I feel no fear, only shalom
I thank my family and friends for understanding
for being loving and kind always
I know some of you don't understand,
 but love me as a sister
& for wanting to provide a loving welcome
 to my friend
I  feel no fear, only shalom

God created me in his image
He knit me together in my mother's womb,
knows my innermost thoughts
I am one of his children
He does not put a stumbling block before the blind
He restores the years the the locusts have eaten
The Merciful One, blessed be his name,
overlooks what is out of a person’s control
I feel no fear, only shalom

I can't live my life out without companionship and love
God knows this, I hope the rest of you do
Do not judge another person until you have been in their place
Don't judge me by what I am, but what I do
I feel no fear, only shalom

What is more important, the quantity of observance or the quality?
Rather than query what happens in bedrooms 
Praise what's going on in the living rooms 
welcoming guests, keeping Kosher, loving the stranger, 
not bitching, honouring people, 
being part of Torah centred families & values
I feel no fear, only shalom ...

 ...for I shall leave judgement to the Almighty. 

In the meantime we have a life to live and live it to the full. 

Hannah ...... & my girlfriend  Sarah 

Shalom Hashem Aleikhem!


  1. Hannah,

    That is such a moving poem, I cried... as I said to you this morning, to me Judaism & G-d is THE FAMILY. YOU are my precious sister to whom I care for deeply. I was there cradling you in my arm, Rach in the other when you were born, so no, I'm not going to abandon or be vile to you now. I struggle with this whole gay meme, but to me bedroom matters are not my business; front room ones are. Do you love G-d? With all your heart mind and spirit? Do you, as Jacob with 'wrestle' with G-d? Then you are a Jew and should be proud of the fact. That is authentic Judaism. Our people's story was almost brought to an end. But we'll survive, by standing shoulder to shoulder with each other and helping one another to become better Jews. I want you to be happy and a happy observant Jew. I look forward to meeting your partner, Sarah,on Saturday... take care, your struggling, but loving brother.

    D x

  2. Hi David,

    Thanks, what you said to me and the post above means a lot to me. I'm sooo lucky to have a fab older bro, like you (:

  3. Sis, fabtabadosy stuff!!! I'm gad, really glad, you've got a partner. I thought you might have, with the clandestine stuff that's been going on. But you know, we all love u! I appreciated u telling us face to face. Has she got big tits and long legs? Look forward to seeing her on Friday! (Yep, I know I've just invited myself round, but it is a bit of a squeeze at Dave's house- and that's saying something!) .

  4. "In the meantime we have a life to live and live it to the full."

    Amen to that Hannah. I will daven for you, that u will have more peace of mind.


  5. Hannah,

    I'm finally glad that you've plucked up the courage to share this with us. We're your friends and family. We'll look after you.

  6. Oh and I couldn't resist -

  7. Hi Paul

    LOL! Great song! :)

  8. HI Sam,

    Thanks bro!.Only you could ask a question like that not get a slap! Love u for it!

  9. Hi Shalom,
    I'm glad I got hold of you in Jerusalem. Thanks for the davening and wishes of peace.

    An early Shabbat Shalom to you!

  10. Hannah,
    Um, when do I get to meet this new addition to the family? Congrats, btw, the having the courage of your convictions & entering into womanhood. Mum & dad would be proud, as would uncle Henry :)

  11. David,

    We'll all struggle with our faith, our lives. You wouldn't be a Jew, if you didn't wrestle with Hashem,

  12. I have NO IDEA why people are people so congratulatory over this SIN!

    The Bible's condemnation of homosexuality is a clear and plain! If you disagree, your argument is with God's Bible. You cannot call yourself a Christian OR a Jew and be a supporter of Same Sex Marriages. It is against the word of God to support any homosexual agenda. The bible says it is sin period.

  13. Dominique Vasilkovsky15 May 2014 at 18:22


    Chuffed to bits. Ignore morons like Dick Latimer below. They can cry sin, but I bet they've sinned themselves. Oh, but it's God doing the judging, so that's OK. They are just his vicarious agent of sin witch finders.

  14. Dominique Vasilkovsky15 May 2014 at 18:23

    Dick ,

    That's been answered for you :

  15. Gay Frum From America15 May 2014 at 18:33

    Wow! This is such a moving poem . Great news Hannah. I've enjoy reading you from the days of Cranmer and your old blog . Really glad you are happy now. Don't be afraid. Shalom!

  16. Fritz Wunderbar15 May 2014 at 18:35

    My darling Hannah,

    Fritz says wunderbar!

  17. Repent, repent, repent!!15 May 2014 at 18:44


  18. Hannah & Sarah,

    That poem was fantastic. Look forward to you coming down to Cornwall for a visit sometime :)

  19. SIS!! Oh, so happy, happy, happy !! Next time just don't keep this a secret for a year and a half !! Be yourself. Be in love and be free. You are a true Torah Jew.

  20. Hannah's not got an agenda .So fuck off.

  21. Oy, oy, Hannah's got a girl! :) Looking forward to the day when this just won't be an issue !


  22. I think that the main point of this entire argument has been missed. I believe one of the commandmants was "love thy neighbour". Not "love thy neighbour as long as he is not black, gay, has blonde hair...". Surely this statement condemns the actions of many clergyman as their actions of late towrds the homosexual community has been anything but loving.

  23. Hannah

    Great, enjoy your life. Good poem.

  24. :) Hope you are well Sophie!

  25. Hi Rach,

    Thanks, really thanks. I'll be more open in future. I was just afraid. But I'm not anymore!

  26. Love Cornwall which made all the better because I've got a sister who lives there! Thanks for the fab words!

  27. Oh, glad to see you are still around & reading us!

  28. One version of it, I think.

  29. Hi Rach,

    Saved me the bother with the direct answer!

  30. Ow, that means a lot. I miss all of them!

  31. Hi Hannah,

    Wow! Didn't see that coming. Hope it works out for you x

  32. I'm flattered by that ! Just trying to be a brother, I guess.

  33. Each to his own as Pope Francis is likely to say. Can I ask. how come Hannah's e-mail address is anna.anglican?

  34. Take care and God bless

  35. Hi Al,
    Yes that's my contact e-mail address; paranoid about security, so I have a work address, a personal address and a blog address. Anna is European for Hannah & Anglican. I was attending Anglican Churches then. Almost ended up a Christian! Such is the rich tapestry that has been my life!

  36. HI Nat,

    Really glad you are cool with it!

  37. Hi Lou

    I know it's difficult to accept because of your sincerely held beliefs.... Hope we can agree to disagree?

  38. Hannah,

    We did our Torah study last night. Thought that this would help you and other gay people of faith -

    "Adonai is our refuge and strength
    an ever present help in trouble
    therefore we will not fear though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea
    thought its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging"

    Psalm 46

  39. Hi Esther,

    Thanks for that Psalm, it does help! It got me thinking about the writer of the Psalms King David had his glory, his triumph, his downfall, sometimes he was an utter shit, but, but when it came to expressing his heartfelt experiences, the Psalms are reflective of that. So human, but so divine at the same time.

  40. Thanks for the positive responses to me and Hannah. It hasn't been easy, but as we will explain in later posts, our position on all of this stuff. Just not right now. (:

  41. *shrug* do you have to rub this into our noses? Some of us just don't give a shit about gays, but resent you pushing it into our faces & demanding 'rights', attacking B&B owners and other devout Christians.What about our rights?

  42. George Monkhouse16 May 2014 at 15:29

    A vote for Gay Rights is a vote against Religious (Rights) Freedom.

    The gays have forced gay marriage on society and will sue you if you have religious beliefs that get in their way. Refuse to take part in a gay wedding because of Religious Beliefs,

  43. It's sad-- Christians should never tell gays they are going to go to hell. I've known a few who have suffered because of the things Christians said to them. Honestly, if you are a Christian- please respect people. Don't make fun of people and tell them they are going to hell. I mean, honestly.. Can a gay help being who they are? Plus let's not forget the verse in Matthew that says not to judge, or you yourself will be judged. If you are a Christian- please remember WWJD? (Aka What Would Jesus Do?)

    "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Matthew 7:1, 2)

    If you are a Christian, stop hating on gays. They are just as important as you. Take care ;)

  44. I haven't "attacked" anyone, B& B owners or Christians. I'm not "demanding" anything, other than the right to fall in love and to be free to express that love. That is perfectly legal in this country. I'm not pushing anything into your face or rubbing anything into your nose. U are quite free not to log onto our blog and free not to post .And free to go away.Or piss off .Gosh, can't believe I just said that...

  45. I agree with U, however, most Christians, when the topic is breached, also say that non-Christians "go to hell", not just gay people. I dunno. Isn't it part of the Christian faith?

  46. Yes, we are all out to get you aren't we? Poor U.

  47. Ye MUST be born again!16 May 2014 at 23:52

    So the homo urge finally "won" (you have, of course, lost eternal life and will burn forever and ever ) with your "right" to fall in "love". All of Britain's Parliament is, of course, damned to eternal torment for their wicked sodomy-enabling.

    Read scripture -

    Romans 1:26-32
    For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet....Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them..

    1 Corinthians 6:9
    Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

  48. George Monkhouse16 May 2014 at 23:59

    So in other words, you don't think Christians should have the right to freedom of speech?

  49. Antipodean Jewess17 May 2014 at 08:43

    Hi Hannah

    Yes, yes, yes !!(:

    So happy for you and Sarah!

    Aside from a few nasty trolls, it seems most people are OK with this, even if they struggle with it. That's fine as these things take time, I guess. You see I'm also gay with a partner, but don't know how to come out, i'm afraid of the judgement, so I'd be grateful for advise.

  50. Antipodean Jewess17 May 2014 at 08:44

    But being Jewish, we're not going to take notice of New Testament stuff!!

  51. Antipodean Jewess17 May 2014 at 08:45

    No -one is denying any religious group freedoms!!

  52. Born again,

    What about Romans 2.1- Therefore you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others; for in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, are doing the very same things.


    Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her. — John 8: 7

    Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law — Romans 13:8-10

    Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you — Colossians 3:11-13

    Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel. —Matthew 23: 23-24

    Heterosexual Christians are being unbiblical by using the clobber passages as justification for applying absolute standards of morality to homosexual “sins” that they themselves are not tempted to commit, while at the same time accepting for themselves a standard of relative morality for those sins listed in the clobber passages that they do routinely commit.
    Homosexuality is briefly mentioned in only six or seven of the Bible’s 31,173 verses. (The verses wherein homosexuality is mentioned are commonly known as the “clobber passages,” since they are typically used by Christians to “clobber” LGBT people.) The fact that homosexuality is so rarely mentioned in the Bible should be an indication to us of the lack of importance ascribed it by the authors of the Bible.

    While the Bible is nearly silent on homosexuality, a great deal of its content is devoted to how a Christian should behave. Throughout, the New Testament insists upon fairness, equity, love, and the rejection of legalism over compassion. If heterosexual Christians are obligated to look to the Bible to determine the sinfulness of homosexual acts, how much greater is their obligation to look to the Bible to determine the sinfulness of their behavior toward gay persons, especially in light of the gay community’s call to them for justice?


  53. Ye MUST be born again!17 May 2014 at 10:05

    The Old Testament book Leviticus - chapter 18 verse 22 and chapter 20 verse 13!!

  54. Ye MUST be born again!17 May 2014 at 10:06

    This is a perversion & twisting of scripture to suite your own liberal agenda! It is disgusting that you manipulate the Bible for your own ideas and ideology. This is heresy of the worst kind.

  55. George. this is all we want to do-

  56. No all we want to do is to have a relationships and love, like anyone else .

  57. Socialist Worker17 May 2014 at 13:30

    Gays should have equal rights. Period.

  58. There are moral absolutes in the universe. Behaving immorally brings regret and guilt that is impossible to divorce from the behavior. Immoral behavior can become a habit and the inherent (not imposed by society) guilt and remorse of conscience can eventually be ignored or dismissed or hidden by an individual's behavior. Many people in America believe that anything but heterosexual relationships consummated only after marriage is the only moral sexual behavior and anything else is immoral. Morality and law are not necessarily aligned. Laws are made by man yet morality is an absolute that exists as part of the universe just like E=mc2. This is a totally different viewpoint than what progressives hypothesize. Part of the grandeur of America is that we are allowed to have different opinions. I think it is likely that the laws of America will be changed to allow individuals with various alternative views about marriage and morality to legally marry. I personally would not choose to alter the law to allow this but as part of being an American I will support the law of the land, but that doesn't change my mind about what constitutes moral behavior. I do not think it is moral to discriminate against people for their race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, color or other attributes of people when it comes to employment, housing, education, pay, commerce etc., but I feel that marriage is an institution for a(one) man(male) and a(one) wife(female). I don't feel this position is discriminatory because marriage is a choice. A person can decide to enter into a covenant of marriage with a person of the opposite sex who they love, or they can decide that is not what they want. If that is not what they want then they don't have to. I don't have a desire to interfere with an individuals private behavior but do not feel that society should condone immoral behavior by sanctioning it with the title of marriage. Some of you will say this philosophy is uneducated, or bigoted, or discriminates against individuals. I ask for the tolerance and love that you are advocating so broadly.

  59. George Monkhouse17 May 2014 at 15:16

    What Would Jesus Do with WWJD?

    Would He, His apostles, or His disciples wear bracelets, necklaces, or t-shirts with this logo?

    They would condemn this junk!

    1. The Lord Jesus Christ Himself condemned any such outward paraphernalia as being a hypocritical religious sham. He said:

    "But all their works they do for to be seen of men: they make broad their phylacteries, and enlarge the borders of their garments."
    Matthew 23:5

    Phylactery. A product of Jewish ceremonial superstition, in which strips of parchment bearing Scripture verses were worn on the left arm and forehead to publicly show dedication to God and His Scriptures. The practice developed from a literal perversion of God's spiritual and figurative commandments in Exodus 13:16; Deuteronomy 6:8; and 11:18. The Pharisees perfected the pretentious custom along with other similar rituals as part of their hypocritical religious form (Mark 7:3-4). Because they were even known to enlarge the traditional size of the phylactery to appear ever more spiritual before men, the Lord Jesus Christ severely censured them for it (Matthew 23:5).

    2. He would not wear such junk in public, for He never lifted up His voice or cried in the streets (Matt 12:19). He was not revealed to Israel until He was thirty years old (Luke 3:23), and He still did not seek promotion even after that (Matt 8:4; 16:20).

    3. He would remind us that true religion is of the heart, not the lips or the wrist (Matt 15:7-9). So that those who emphasize such an outward show are hypocrites.

    4. He would remind us that God looks on the heart, not the appearance (I Samuel 16:7), which has been true under both covenants (Isaiah 57:15: 66:2; Micah 6:6-8).

    5. He would remind us that doing things to be seen of men has its reward, the praise of men; but such things bring no reward from God in heaven (Matthew 6:2,5,16).

    6. He would explain that the people wearing this junk do not have a clue about what He would do, because they are ignorant of His word (Matt 22:29; II Tim 4:3-4).

    7. He would remind us that a form of Christianity without life-changing authority is part of the perilous times of the last days (II Tim 3:1-5). There is no revival in America; religious seducers are getting worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived (II Tim 3:13). Of course, if you tell these tree-hugging, carnal Christians about the true Jesus Christ, they will hate and persecute you (II Tim 3:12).

  60. Is it me or are some people here acting like Oliver Cromwell? :

  61. Hi Paul

    ROFL!! That is soooooooooooo brill!

  62. Hi AJ

    Thanks for the e-mail. Am replying now. You're not alone, we are davening for U! (:

  63. "This is a perversion & twisting of scripture to suite your own liberal agenda! It is disgusting that you manipulate the Bible for your own ideas and ideology. This is heresy of the worst kind."


  64. "The Old Testament book Leviticus - chapter 18 verse 22 and chapter 20 verse 13!!"

    Please it is "The Torah". And I will deal with this at a later date, of my choosing. But do U have to throw our shared holy scripture around as if it were mud?

  65. Never said that, did I? If I thought otherwise, then your comment would have been deleted. See our 'comments' policy for further guidance.

  66. "All of Britain's Parliament is, of course, damned to eternal torment for their wicked sodomy-enabling."

    Sorry, this has got to be a "poe" post ?

  67. Paul,

    That did make me chuckle. So true. So true.

  68. Thanks for the reply, Hannah !! (:

  69. Joannah Charmley18 May 2014 at 13:09

    Hi Hannah,

    Came across your blog by a comment on another forum. Can I ask are you a Jewish Christian? And is this your "coming out" or what?

  70. Hi Lou!

    No I didn't think you were rude, I just thought that you wouldn't approve. I'm really chuffed you have clarified that, my lovely Christian Cousin (:

  71. Hi Joannah, Welcome!

    For what of a better word I am a Jew for Judaism.

    My paternal family come from an Anglo-Irish background; my dad was a convert to Judaism & my mum was an Iraqi Jew. Sadly they both passed away shortly after me and my twin sister were born, so we were raised, by my late paternal uncle (with help from my big older bro, Dave). I do therefore have some Christian understanding of the Anglo-Catholic-Anglican traditions. Also I have researched & spent time exploring Christianity, including an alpha course and the churches where they fall on the floor and 'speak in tongues'...

    when I "came out" they tried to 'cure' me of being gay. Of which, I did come out a couple of years ago, but I tried to live a single life, which I've struggled with for years, so I met this lovely girl about a year and a bit ago. But this is my public confirmation and affirmation of that relationship. And we both feel so, so happy and peaceful about being able to be truthful & honest about our feelings for each other.

    After all of my life & spiritual journey, I feel more comfortable with Judaism and its theological/practical outlook of the world. I don't try to convert the world, but am happy to chat about these things.

  72. Joannah Charmley18 May 2014 at 14:08

    Great I am pleased you've found God in your particular situation. I read that you say you are sephardi Jew and I wondered if that meant anything in particular.

  73. Your're a dark horse that's full of surprises .

  74. Another interesting fact about me - I am able to play the organ & piano...

  75. Oh I see. Well a Sephardi Jew or the Jewish Sephardim are Jews from the diaspora who came from Spain ( which is what Sephardi means), but who were also settled in Italy, Portugal, Southern Europe, North Africa & Asia. Spain's Jews were - all 600,000 of them- forced to either convert to Christianity & be interorgated by the Inquisition or be expelled from Spain. The vast majority were exiled & settled in the regions I've mentioned, who joined existing & extremely ancient communities in those areas , for example in Iraq Jews had been there since Biblical times.

    So we have our own prayer book, language (Ladino) & culture which is distinct from the Northern European based Ashkenazi Jews, whose ordinary language is Yiddish. ; my family also spoke Arabic as a first language. Our theological outlook is 'Orthodox', but Sephardi in the middle east never went through the splits of European Jewry, into Haredi, Conservative, Reform, Orthodox etc, so it tended traditionally to be more broad, tolerant, inclusive, emphasising community, family & the spirit, not the letter of the law. Also unlike Europe, Jews were not shoved into ghettos, so are more open to non-Jews with an emphasis on both secular and religious education (for both sexes).

    Alas that all changed when Arab regimes took their revenge on their defeat by Israel in 1948 & systematically ethnically cleansed the whole middle east & northern africa of Jews.

    Hope that potted history helps! (:

  76. Oh and I'd just like to add that my girlfriend is Ashkenazi, so differences are one of degree & are not as ferocious as Catholic-Protestant splits in Christianity. Our divisions are sorted out by heated argument & debate. This is how we study Torah & debate is a Jewish pass time...

  77. I prefer to ask WSAJD? OR 'What should a Jew do?'

  78. Hey Joannah

    This is an example of Sephardi poetry and music -

  79. This clip gives you a bit of the history of Sephardi Jews-

  80. Hannah,

    Cousin Oscar says -

    Great news!!

    Just noticed a curious thing.

    You're not 28

    Until August.

  81. Hi Oscar ,

    Thanks (:

    Bloody hell, I've corrected, but I hadn't noticed that! It's either my typing skills are crap or my dyslexia (:


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